State Assembly Visits Marriage Counselor - Tries Role Playing

Madison - The State Assembly today, back in town for a veto-override session, participated in a role-playing session. Wikipedia states that "In role-playing, participants adopt the role of characters, or parts, that have personalities, motivations, and backgrounds different from their own." It is viewed as one of the most common and oft used forms of counseling.

The Democratic-Republican relationship has continued to sour over the years as the two have drifted further and further apart. In an attempt to remedy the situation, the two have agreed to see a marriage counselor after a show of mutual reluctance.

"All the Democrats ever do is get up and bitch, bitch, bitch about things they have absolutely no control over," said a Republican. "Just sit down and shut up, you're not going to change the outcome of anything."

"All I want to do is have a conversation," countered a Democrat. "The Republicans just sit there with their mouth shut and won't even recognize us. I just want to talk!"

Recently, their marriage counselor suggested a common form of therapy known as role playing. It was suggested that the two try to pretend they are in the other person's shoes and to act out what they perceive to be the problematic behavior of their partner.

Following up on doctor's orders, Republicans spent the day talking, complaining and nearly screaming about things they have no control over and for which they already know the outcome. Playing their part, Democrats sat quietly, ignoring the outbursts from across the aisle. At times, each side broke character and resorted back to their usual self, but it was generally viewed as a successful role playing session.

Citing doctor-patient confidentiality, their marriage counselor refused to answer any questions about the relationship's outlook. The doctor's only comment was that "we should have a better sense of things in 5 or 6 months."

Streamlined Constitutional UW Admissions

Madison - The State Legislature finally stepped up to the plate today, for the first time effecting a plan in response to action by the UW-System instead of just complaining. In the face of crazy liberal ideas, Assembly Republican Leadership has found a way to resolve the controversy surrounding the recent changes to the UW admissions process.

A Streamlined Constitutional UW Admissions (Screw Admissions) Amendment has rushed through the Legislature, writing into the constitution a limit of 4 questions that may be asked on a UW admissions application:

• Name
• Address
• GPA
• ACT/SAT

All other factors are now constitutionally barred from consideration when reviewing an applicant's file. GOP Leadership felt the quickest way to solve the UW crisis was to stick to what they do best: make a one-size-fits-all constitutional amendment to change things to their liking.

Further streamlining admissions and preventing any and all future controversy, the Admissions Departments at all UW schools have been eliminated and all applications this fall will be reviewed by the Assembly Republican Caucus. State Representative Steve Nass will assume the role of System-wide UW Admissions Overlord.

Max Power has been able to obtain a sneak peak at the upcoming application for UW-Madison this fall:

Textbook Omission

September 2013 - The fears of many democrats are beginning their realization as students head back to school this fall. High school and middle school students across the country will tread into their history classes every day with some new entries in their textbooks.

The textbook cabal has finally finished their standard entry on the presidency of George W. Bush, the 43rd President of the United States. The sole focus of the entry will be the attacks that occurred on September 11, 2001.

Many liberals had hoped his legacy would be one of the debacle he started with his war in Iraq. What they failed to foresee was that the Iraq war would still be raging today, over ten years after the claimed "liberation of Iraq." Textbook editors have been hesitant to cover "contemporary issues," instead waiting for history to develop a retroactive look at the matter.

"We're not going to put current affairs into a history textbook," said one editor. "As such, we had no choice but to cut out any and all reference to the Iraq war when discussing President Bush."

While some feel this unfairly characterizes Bush as the president who stood up against terrorism, others are less concerned.

"Sure, my kids might not get the full story from their textbook," said one parent. "But they all know that Bush started the Iraq war and I don't think they'll forget it anytime soon. All one has to do is turn on the TV to any news channel and they'll be reminded all day long about how horrible everything is in Iraq."

Let The People Decide

I will never understand the Democrats' [GOP's] aversion to more levels of direct democracy in our government. They were so vehemently opposed to this non-binding, advisory referendum, that would simply allow voters to tell them how they feel about the death penalty [war in Iraq].

I can understand being opposed to the non-binding, advisory referendum because, perhaps, it seems a little like the government funding a very expensive poll. Or, perhaps, because there is no reason to have such a costly referendum and have it be non-binding. Perhaps one could be opposed because they feel it should be binding.

But because the voters shouldn't have a say in this issue?

That's ridiculous.

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Ridiculous indeed.

But wait, does the term "ridiculous referendum" sound familiar? That's because IT IS! Read about it, along with 7 more examples found amongst these.

BREAKING NEWS

Cyberspace, WI - A firestorm of speculation has swept through the blogging world after various right-wing bloggers, including Jessica and Jenna, posted positive and optimistic entries on their blog. This particular breed of blogger is often found lurking on the far-right, casting Pat Robertson in a Feingolden light.

Reasoned bloggers that typically provide a logic-based argument for their thought-out position, such as the Recess Supervisor or Jed & Owen, were shocked to see a break from the corrosive vitriol usually spit from those on the far-right.

Many moderates view the turn of events as offering hope for the future health and well-being of these bloggers. Reading far-right blogs, one would never have guessed that the GOP holds the White House, Supreme Court, U.S. Senate, U.S. House, State Senate and State Assembly. Some have struggled to understand why those on the right could be so unhappy with their nearly ultimate power over State Government and their absolute power over the Federal Government.

With "the sky is falling" attitudes on federal matters in our current GOP-Dominated world, people are uneasy about the mental well-being of these bloggers should the Democratic Party take back any slight majority at any level of government. While it seems unfathomable how a person could be so pissed-off when they're winning the race, it leaves one concerned for what that person might do should they begin to lose the race.

Quote of the Day

"Wisconsin's lobby laws and ethics laws are a model for the nation."
(read: we don't need to do anything)

Assembly Speaker-Elect Huebsch

May 2, 2006