Troops Actually Come Home After Referendum Passes With Record Turnout

Madison - Across the state and throughout the country on Tuesday, voters turned out in droves for the oft overlooked spring election. From school boards to county boards, there were the usual string of electoral decisions to be made in the polling booth. This year, however, many areas featured a new and unusual ballot measure regarding our soldiers at war in Iraq.

A Major Issue?

The question on Madison's ballots simply stated: "Should the United States bring all military personnel home from Iraq now?" Similar questions appeared on ballots across the state and throughout the U.S.

Leading up to this election, both the blogosphere and the right-wing media have just erupted over this seemingly simple question. It appears, however, that their hype was duly appropriate, as turnout for the election topped 87% of registered voters. Not only was this a record for a spring election, but a record for any election.

"I think the record turnout vindicates what some people have called 'too much time' spent on the subject by bloggers and the media," said one right-wing blogger.

Serious Consequences?

During the intense spotlight of the blogosphere, much discussion focused on the message the referendum would be sending our troops. Several bloggers worried that if it passed, it would demoralize the troops already serving in Iraq. Supporters of the referendum rebuke that it is targeted as a message to the Bush Administration and that it should have no effect on the troops.

"It's just a referendum, man," said one twenty-something gentleman sporting blond-haired dreadlocks. "It's not like the City of Madison has anything to do with bringing troops home anyway."

"I mean, we support our troops, we just don't support this war," added the first gentleman's' hetero-life-mate.

But with the referendum passing with a 68% super-majority, it appears as though the outcry from right-wing bloggers has again been justified.

Immediate Results

It was only a matter of hours before news of the referenda results reached U.S. soldiers in Iraq. Interrupting their normally peaceful day of eating lollipops and playing tiddlywinks, moral quickly began to decline.

"We had just finished the squidge-off when the news came through," said one soldier. "On the very first play Johnson had one of his winks squopped by Roberts... and he threw the table across the room!"

Soon thereafter soldiers just began to throw down their weapons, commandeer the military aircraft, and fly back toward the United States. By the end of the day it was estimated that 93% of the U.S. military presence in Iraq had just decided to up and leave.

The result has been devastating to the Iraqi people. After over three years of strong support for the American presence, many Iraqis miss the American soldiers. Worse yet, the short and straight road to an Iraqi democracy looks to be in danger. Without the U.S. Army's superior control of the Iraqi insurgency, the country has now begun to slip into chaos and what some people are starting to call civil war. The sign at the center of Baghdad reading "937 Days Without a Car Bomb" was destroyed this morning by a car bomb in a devastatingly symbolic act.

"If only the Americans were still here," said one Iraqi. "Then we would have peace and a stable government."

"I tried to warn everyone," opined one blogger.