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Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Bush Almost Forgets What Happened, Who Did It

Washington D.C. - President George W. Bush almost forgot What Happened, and Who Did It while surfing the web last night. Were it not for the informative blog McBride's Media Matters, by Jessica McBride of Wisconsin, Bush would have been left to end the night without a clue.

At approximately 11:30 p.m. Bush decided he would try something his daughters had long talked about: "surfin' the web." Bush began his search with Google where he typed in the newest word in his mental lexicon, Blog. Noticing two choices of buttons to push, Bush snickered to himself while saying out loud, "I'm Feeling Lucky." It was with the push of that button that he found himself at Blogger.

The blog searches began innocently enough, with phrases like "liberal dummy" and "hippie tree hugger." Several hours, and a pair of bloodshot eyes, later Bush had stumbled onto the blog of Jessica McBride. The site took a few extra seconds to load, due to some new-fangled technology called "flash animation" embedded on the website.

Bush's bloodshot eyes immediately laid sight at something on the right telling him to "Never Forget What Happened." Bush quickly panicked, having suddenly forgot What Happened. He waited patiently for the next few slides to scroll by.

It appeared to Bush that there was a pair of buildings - twins if you will - that were there, followed by some explosion, and then the buildings were on fire.

Bush was further perplexed by the sidebar banner in McBride's blog when the next screen popped up, instructing to "Never Forget Who Did It." Bush was once again lost, quickly trying to remember What Happened and think of Who Did It.

The next slide displayed the image of a man of ethnic decent with a child on his shoulders wearing a Chicago Bears jersey. Bush immediately called Donald Rumsfeld, asking him to come "check out this thing I found online."

Rumsfeld appeared at the Whitehouse shortly after 2am, expecting to be shown another goofy joke of Bush's about some cowboys. Instead, he found a President eager to bomb Chicago. Rumsfeld quickly pointed out that the man in the following slide whom Bush had failed to recognize was Osama bin Laden and that he was "Who Did It."

Ultimately, after watching 7 complete and straight progressions of the banner, Bush finally began to realize "what the folks at the McBride's Media Matters blog were trying to tell [him]."

"Thank goodness for Jessica McBride's blog," said Rumsfeld. "If it were not for her banner shamelessly showing planes flying into the Twin Towers over, and over, and over again, Bush may not have been able to remember What Happened and Who Did It. It is through the patriotic work of this Wisconsin blog, and others like it, that has allowed us to continue our crusade against Who Did It."

"I would just like to thank Mrs. McBride," concluded Bush. "I was really able to grasp the pertinence of her site's content through the continued visual repetition of a plane flying into a building."


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