Doyle: Keep Them Warm... GOP: Let Them Freeze

Milwaukee - Governor Doyle today renewed his call for an increase in energy assistance for low income individuals. Under his proposal, Wisconsin would lend a helping hand to individuals having a particularly hard time paying for home heating costs that have more than doubled in the past two years.

"Too many families are being left behind," noted Doyle. "While oil companies reap record profits, low-income families here in Milwaukee are having to choose between keeping their children warm and keeping their children fed. With new fiscal estimates painting a brighter and brighter future, we should take this extra money and invest it in the wellbeing of our own citizens."

Assembly Majority Leader Huebsch called the proposal nothing more than your typical "pay-to-play" scandal from the Governor's office.

"When is he going to learn that it is illegal to buy votes? I know he keeps talking about how people would freeze to death otherwise, but it just doesn't pass the smell test. They are getting cold hard cash in the form of their energy bill and you know damn well they'll be marching to the polls for Doyle come November."

One resident found the proposal beyond the scope of government. "I didn't work hard to land a six-figure income just so my tax dollars could be given away to these losers. We all start on fair ground and if you want to neglect the care of your mother, father, nanny, private school and home tutor just to become a failure... then it is your fault and you deserve to be cold."

When asked about the comment, John Gard contemplated, "yeah... that's it. What do they call that? Strict Father something or other. I should use that. I mean, I was thinking it was a bad idea because the government could not afford to the $6 or 7 million it would cost. Our legislative agenda would eliminate our ability to put this new money in the wrong hands by passing tax breaks to wipe out any surplus cash."

When asked about how this was any different than simply spending the money, Gard became a little agitated.

"Well... I mean... Look, these people are all poor and they all live in Milwaukee. So, as far as I'm concerned, they will not be donating to my congressional campaign. Corporations, on the other hand, have lots of funds available for my campaign and would certainly appreciate the tax breaks. Did you see Wisconsin's 8th Congressional District is the #5 most expensive House race!? I am here to do my job representing the people of Sun... Northeastern Wisconsin, and we will not rest until we are #1!"